Why We Don’t Rush to Fix Boredom at TOCA
What do you do when a toddler tells you, for the tenth time, that they're bored? At TOCA, our answer is probably not what you'd expect.
That wasn't always obvious, even to us. When Lelé first started working with children, she thought her job was to plan the day: a theme, a project, a tight little schedule. She had it all figured out.
But the kids kept showing up with plans of their own, wanting to explore something she hadn't scheduled, split off into two different games at once, to follow a thread she hadn't planned for. Telling them “no” never felt right. So she stopped planning and started listening instead, following the kids from one idea to the next rather than the other way around.
How does TOCA structure a day without a fixed lesson plan?
Our teachers are trained to read what a child needs in the moment and guide from there, offering collected materials, ideas, and gentle direction, but letting the child's own curiosity set the pace. There's real structure to it: consistent routines, attentive adults, a rhythm to the day. The difference is that the content of that structure flexes around the children instead of a rigid, pre-set agenda. We see our group like a garden and every child is a different plant. Each plant is different. One needs more water, others more sun, others more shade. The same is with the children. We feed them with what they need at that moment according to their interest.
Lelé sees this as one of the most overlooked parts of growing up: knowing your own mind isn't something that shows up automatically. It has to be practiced. A child who is constantly told exactly what to do next rarely gets the chance to build that muscle.
Here's What That Actually Looked Like
One summer, a three-year-old showed up for her first day and kept repeating: “I'm bored. I'm bored.”
Most adults reach straight for a fix, a toy, a suggestion. Lelé did the opposite. “That's alright”, she told her. “Come here with me. I'm going to make you a comfortable little spot.” She led the girl to a place under some low, sheltering branches, laid down a blanket and said “it’s ok to be bored. Relax here and be bored. At some point you will have an idea and you will know what you want to do. I’ll be right there waiting for you to tell me.”
The girl stayed there, rolling from one side to the other, staring up through the leaves. Then, all at once, she sat up. “I know what I want to do”, she said. “I need a stick. I need a leaf. I need a string.” A whole list, out of nowhere.
They gathered the materials together, tested a few sticks, and built something neither of them had planned that morning. “After that day”, Lelé says, “she never brought it up again. She understood what to do when you’re bored.”
Why This Kind of Freedom Actually Helps Toddlers Grow
Rest is a big part of it. A mind that's constantly busy never gets the quiet it needs to land on an idea of its own, and most children's days today leave very little room for that kind of quiet:
School, activities, and more activities, back to back
Screens filling in any small gap that's left
Rarely a real, unstructured stretch of time long enough for something new to surface
At TOCA, our teachers build in that gap on purpose, staying close enough to guide, while giving each child room to arrive somewhere on their own.
What Kids Actually Learn From Each Other Out There
A lot of what children pick up during a day like this comes from moments between the children themselves, just as much as anything a teacher plans: negotiating who goes first, solving a problem, working out a game with rules nobody wrote down.
That's the real substance of a day at TOCA: children and teachers figuring things out side by side.
Also our group is mixed ages. That alone opens opportunities for the little children to learn from the older children and the older children to help the little ones. The best of it is that this happens naturally. On our walks for example, on their own, older children hold hands of the little ones to help them. And they feel so proud of it. It’s so beautiful to see.